December 12, 2017

My father always said, “Be the kind they marry, not the kind they date.” So on our first date I’d nag the guy for a new dishwasher.

-Kris McGaha

Dying of laughter right now. Definitely helping the first date nerves. Happy Tuesday!

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November 6, 2017

Way, way back in the day, like in the 1990s, if you wanted to tell everyone you ate waffles for breakfast, you couldn’t just go on the Internet and tweet it out. There was only one way to do it. You had to go outside and scream at the top of your lungs, ‘I ate waffles for breakfast!’ That’s why so many people ended up in institutions. They seemed crazy, but when you think about it, they were just ahead of their time.

-Ellen DeGeneres

October 30, 2017

Max: But everyone here knows that Halloween was invented by the candy companies it’s a conspiracy!
Allison: It just so happens that Halloween is based on the ancient feast called ‘All Hallows Eve’ It’s the one night of they year where the spirits of the dead can return to Earth.
– Omri Katz and Vinessa Shaw, Hocus Pocus (1993)

October 9, 2017

It’s like, how did Columbus discover America when the Indians were already here? What kind of shit is that, but white people’s shit?

-Miles Davis, Miles: The Autobiography

Good point Miles. With that logic, it should be called “Invaders Day”. Think I’m crazy? Listen to the SoundCloud clip below from the former 105.3 JB in the Morning Show.

September 7, 2017

“Take some more tea,” the March Hare said to Alice, very earnestly.
“I’ve had nothing yet,” Alice replied in an offended tone, “so I can’t take more.”
“You mean you can’t take less,” said the Hatter: “it’s very easy to take more than nothing.”
“Nobody asked your opinion,” said Alice.

-Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

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